What Male Partners Don’t Know About Menopause (and need to)

There is a massive gap in understanding menopause from a male partner’s perspective—and why it’s causing unnecessary confusion, conflict, and disconnection in relationships.

Where to start? What they don’t know about menopause might kill them? Or us? 

In this episode I am joined by the author of the recently published book by a male, for males, but also valuable to women about navigating menopause with partners. 

Instead of focusing only on biology, this conversation dives into what really matters:
👉 Communication
👉 Emotional support
👉 Relationship dynamics
👉 Practical ways men can show up better

The episode highlights that menopause isn’t just a women’s health issue—it’s a relationship transition. When they know what they used to not know about menopause, it can actually strengthen connection and improve intimacy long-term.

What Men Don’t Know About Menopause And Why It Impacts Relationships Deeply

My Guest:

Joe Warner is an award-winning journalist and best-selling author. His new book, Burning Up, Frozen Out – What Every Man Needs to Know About the Menopause (But No One Told You), explains how men can better understand and support their partners through menopause, while also taking better care of their own health.

Questions We Answer in This Episode:

• [00:00:00] Why do so many men still struggle to understand perimenopause and menopause – and what impact does that have on relationships?
• [00:00:00] How can menopause affect connection, communication and day-to-day life as a couple in ways people might not expect?
• [00:00:00] What do men consistently get wrong – and how can you guide them to support you in a way that actually helps?
• [00:00:00] What are some simple, realistic ways partners can better support each other through this transition?
• [00:00:00] How can couples stay connected and on the same team when everything feels like it’s shifting?
• [00:00:00] Why can intimacy and libido become such a challenge during this stage – and how is it often misunderstood?

What Men Get Wrong About Menopause

• Biggest mistake: trying to “fix” it
• Men approach menopause like a problem to solve
• This creates:
  • • Shame
    • Blame
    • Emotional disconnect

👉 Shift needed: From fixing → to supporting

What They Don’t Know About Menopause Could Be Hurting Your Relationship 

Why Conversations Fail

• People aren’t truly listening—they’re waiting to respond
• Men often avoid conversations out of fear of saying the wrong thing
• Avoiding communication makes things worse

Lack of Awareness (Even Among Women)

• Many women don’t recognize symptoms themselves
• Even medical professionals miss signs
• This normalizes confusion—but also highlights need for education

Men’s Role as Observers & Advocates

• Men can spot early signs of perimenopause
• Can support by attending medical appointments
• Help reduce delays in diagnosis and treatment

Intimacy & Relationship Struggles

• Loss of intimacy is often misunderstood
• Two key differences:
  • • Men: spontaneous desire
    • Women: need emotional connection first
• Misalignment creates rejection and confusion

The Connection vs Sex Disconnect

• Men: seek connection through sex
• Women: need connection before sex
• Lack of communication worsens the gap

Hope: Relationships Can Improve

• Couples who communicate report:
  • • Better intimacy than before
    • Stronger emotional connection
• Requires:
  • • Honesty
    • Humor
    • Open conversations
• Knowledge: What’s happening (for both men & women)
• Communication: How to talk to each other & doctors
• Power: Lifestyle (sleep, stress, nutrition, exercise)

Biggest Insight from Research

• Couples who navigate menopause well often become happier than before
• Forced to:
  • • Reevaluate relationship
    • Communicate honestly
    • Break autopilot patterns

Common Mistake with “Helping”

• Men suggest solutions (e.g., gym together)
• Women actually need:
  • • Time
    • Space
    • Reduced responsibilities
• Best support = taking things off her plate

The Role of Guilt in Women’s Health

• Women often:
  • • Put themselves last
    • Feel guilty prioritizing health
• Men can support by creating space for self-care
  
  

What Couples Don’t Know About Menopause Affects Everything

Connect with Joe:

• Website – Burning Up, Frozen Out
• Instagram – @joewarneruk
• X – @joewarneruk