I have just been put on my proverbial knees. Someone decided that my powering through major stressors by working every minute I was not spending it with my family or dealing with the aftermath deserved a little wake up call.
I’ve been sick now for – going on day 7 as I write. I don’t do sick very well. I in fact have had flashbacks to the times in my life I’ve felt this bad.
- I was on the couch in my parents home in junior high and my big brother bought me an amazing tracksuit of the 70’s era and it was beautiful. I wanted to be well just to wear it. In fact, I went out for track just to wear it.
- I recall my mama coming to take care of me and my infant son when I got the roto virus. I wanted to die or thought I was dying. It was the worst sick when even recuperating on the couch in front of the TV hurt.
So here’s the deal in your 50s. No one comes. The dog has to do with whatever you have left in your kitchen because you can’t even fathom 1. Getting dressed 2. Driving in sunlight (hurts your eyes) 3. And carrying the enormous dog food bag out of Pet Smart
So by day three, I did manage to choose the dog over my own need to go to the store (only so much energy). It wasn’t that I feared what two more days of ground meat and quinoa might do to him. I was out of those too.
But, why was I sick?
Big beater of drums that I am… I contend that we don’t get sick because we’re exposed. We get sick because our immune systems are depleted.
I’d forgotten my boundaries.
I like exercise.
I just haven’t been getting enough.
I like yoga and relaxation.
I just haven’t been getting enough.
I like and need quite a lot of sleep compared to some people.
I just have been skimping on that.
I like my work. Too much sometimes.
I’d worked all waking hours through the last two weekends. I can get caught up in the excitement and goal of a new product (we’ve got some!) No long bikes or runs outdoors. No yoga. No even time to give myself the deserved movie time (movie junkie, I admit it) at the end of a weekend. Still sitting at the computer with “one more thing” on my brain at 8pm.
I have clients I give 100% to and consulting customers I enjoy meeting.
Sometimes, however, complimentary consulting clients expect something for nothing. I’ve too often lately given away my time freely as if I have a limited supply. As I have increased the amount of free time I have I’ve given it up to reach a hand out. Done too much you devalue your own time both to others and yourself.
I occasionally have clients who want coaching but don’t follow through on the work.(gasp!)
It’s like taking a pill for an illness and expecting to become not only well, but superhuman because of the pill, without improving diet, sleep, exercise and thoughts around your own responsibility. Continually looking for the answer, to the wrong question will get us all into trouble.
So I’m paying attention now.
Boundary reset is in place. Ready for this new month. Happy New November and self care.
- There will be an hour of exercise before 9am each morning. I won’t always need or use an hour. But it’s there.
- There will be daily yoga.
- I will shut off the computer before dinner and it will not come back on again until morning.
- I will say no to people who want “Debra” work time without being a paid client.
- I will decorate for the holidays as early as I _______ please. Because I like it, I like holidays, and it makes me happy. If we had holiday cheer more months of the year the world would be a better place.
- I will order dog food online before I run out of the last scoop.
- I will regularly order the staples I always use at Thrive market so they’re delivered to my doorstep and I never have to run out of anything. Ever.
- I will end 30-minute sessions at 30 minutes. Talking longer does not accomplish more it just makes the rest of the day off track and ignores the schedule I have to keep.
- I love my social media tribe and community. However, the computer and electromagnetic pollution suck energy and rob health. I set limits on daily use of electronics. I may be less available for comments but I will be amore available for life.
- I have stopped attracting people who want to spin in waiting for the perfect solution instead of stepping into being the solution. The right clients are showing up. In order to take care of them I must let go of the ones who repeatedly ask the same questions but fail to take action when they get the answer.
Now you… what do you need to stop doing? What do you need to start doing? ‘Tis the season to be your own reason for doing it.
In order to keep my commitments to myself I sometimes need to register for accountability outside myself. I use business partners and coaches. I register for a month of yoga. If you’re the same… jump into this special 28-Day kickstart with me!