After a Betrayal: Can You Heal, Forgive and Forget?

What happens after a betrayal? And what qualifies as a betrayal? Is it when your sister breaks a promise or your parents fail to accept your partner? Is it when a friend fails to be there for you during a time of need? Is it when someone keeps the truth from you for years yet claims it’s not a lie? 

We’ve all been deceived by someone in our lives. Some small betrayals happen regularly. Others, the big ones, the hurtful deeply painful ones aren’t as easily forgotten or overlooked. But when a let down happens from someone you love there are some big decisions that are made. Consciously or unconsciously they’re made. We don’t stay the same. 

Even if we were to pretend we could, everything changes. Does a relationship go on, can it? Can you get past it? 

Are there degrees of deceit? Some for which there’s no healing? And others that are easier to move through? I ask my guest these questions today. And we’ll have questions for you too. In fact, if you’re able you may want to take the quiz even before you listen. The link is in the show notes to find the quiz. Those show notes are: … “after a betrayal.”

My Guest:

Dr. Debi Silber is the founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and is a holistic psychologist, health, mindset, and personal development expert, the author of Trust Again, and is a 2-time #1 International bestselling author of The Unshakable Woman AND From Hardened to Healed: The Effortless Path to Release Resistance, Get Unstuck and Create a Life You Love. Her podcast: From Betrayal to Breakthrough is also globally ranked within the top 1.5% of podcasts. Her recent Ph.D. study on how we experience betrayal made 3 groundbreaking discoveries that changes how long it takes to heal. In addition to being on FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, TEDx (twice), and more, she’s an award-winning speaker and coach dedicated to helping people move past their betrayals as well as any other blocks preventing them from their health, work, relationships, confidence, and happiness they want most.

Questions we answer in this episode

  • [03:40] Who decides what qualifies as a betrayal? 
  • [06:00] Tell us about betrayal-why does it hurt, what does it impact, what does it create?
  • [07:33] How does an unhealed betrayal impact our health, work and relationships?
  • [09:58] How do we know if we haven’t healed from a betrayal?
  • [14:14] What are the 5 stages from betrayal to breakthrough that were discovered in your study?
  • [22:27] What do we need to do to move forward and heal after a betrayal experience?
  • [33:33] What were the 3 discoveries you made during your study?
  • What’s post betrayal syndrome and how do we know if we have it?
  • What’s Post Betrayal Transformation and how is it different from posttraumatic growth?
  • What are the questions we can ask ourselves to see if we’re numbing/avoiding/distracting ourselves?
  • [34:59]How can we learn to trust again after a betrayal?

Connect with Debi and take her quiz:

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