If you encourage healthy habits in those around you, change is easier for you. You’re now entering the no nag zone. My guest on this episode addresses the way to reduce your own resistance to change by getting others in your environment on board too. What if without criticism or nagging you could relay the message that would move someone literally?
Fiachra “Figs” O’Sullivan, is the Founder and Chief Empathy Officer at Empathi, which provides step-by-step guidance for couples and individuals who care about their relationships. He is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, who is certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples and individuals.
I dedicated this entire episode to our Flipping 50 community members’ most popular response when I asked what they’d like to know if they had the chance to talk with a relationship therapist.
If you can effectively reduce your external resistance to change (we all resist) by effectively learning to encourage healthy habits in others in your immediate environment, you will be more successful. The relationship will be more successful.
How do you encourage healthy habits without nagging?
“I’m not a fan of feedback being very valuable in a relationship.”
“The number 1 key to happiness: Quality of relationship with significant other.”
And if you want to go deeper:
Whether it’s private clients, Flipping 50 community members in the 28 Day Kickstart or the After 50 Fitness Formula for Women, or Fit-U, a common struggle I hear is this one. It’s most related to food and eating choices. So if food is a “I cook this for me, and that for them” experience you’ve already got tons more resistance to change.
Another area women wish they could encourage healthy habits is sleep. Whether you share a bedroom with your significant other or not (don’t be surprised, as the awareness importance of sleep has gone up, many of our tribe sleep separately from their loves!) snoring or sleep apnea issues hint of other health problems.
Curious?! Are you living and loving someone with an equal desire to be active and healthy?
Make it delicious to eat better with a smoothie full of higher quality protein & fiber. It’s a great first step.
My guest Tracy today started running at 45. She is hooked. She has done 5 marathons in a year. Where can you catch that?
She didn’t start running until around age 45. She have watched her parents be very active in triathlon for the last 30 years. Both doing Kona multiple times and her dad earning 1st place at age 66 in Kona.
She always admired their activity but just didn’t catch the “bug” myself until my 40s. As a nurse, she started paying attention to the health of those that stayed active versus those that lived a sedentary life.
Her love for running came at age 45 running approximately 5 half marathons a year. At age 48, I did my first sprint triathlon with her mom (who just did Machu Picchu at age 70). She did 5 more sprints over the next year and decided that at 50 she would run my first full marathon as well as train for her first half Ironman.
She learned from watching her parents that age truly is just a number and not an excuse not to be active. Trying to navigate through menopause, she can’t image not having swim, bike, run as my “therapy”. I definitely feel it has saved me at times during the highs and lows of hormonal changes.
Are you inspired?
Are you too an inspiration? I’d love to hear from you!
What If You Could End Dieting Hell?
This episode is all about getting off that diet you’re on or thinking about trying next. Yeah, I know you’re out there.
But first I need to let you know this episode is sponsored by STRONGER I, the 8-week early fall strength training program created for women in perimenopause, menopause, and postmenopause launching right now.
The doors are not only open…but if you’re listening to this before July 25 you can get in at 50% off during the
Can You End Dieting Hell Once and For All?
Michelle Melendez is the creator of the Live in a Body You Love 90-program and Hawaii Retreat and author “End Dieting Hell: How to find peace with your body and lose weight.” She has lead thousands of live and online fitness classes and has helped women around the world understand and release their emotional addiction to being overweight.
First, that’s a strong statement… “emotional addiction to being overweight.”
Say more about that.
Other questions we answered in this episode:
Get the Book: End Dieting Hell
Connect with Michelle online:
Please leave a rating in iTunes! It really helps!
If you grew up on cereal and love a good granola but you’re eating differently now you miss it! It’s hard to find a grain-free reduced sugar granola at all or one that’s not super expensive. (I think a 6 oz bag is $7 – 9). So I experimented here with my own made with nuts, seeds, and healthy fats. You still have to add a little sugar but it’s cut down from the original by about 60-70%. My next experiment is to add vanilla protein powder to reduce sugar impact more.
It’s got a lot of ingredients but it’s basically dump and stir and comes together super quick. Unless you know your oven well, keep an eye on it during the last few minutes. Brown is not burnt!
Preheat over to 325 degrees F. Position rack(s) in center of oven (I used two). In a large mixing bowl combine everything but sunflower and/or pumpkin seeds: coconut, nuts, chia seeds flax seed, cinnamon, stevia, and salt.
In a small sauce pan warm the coconut oil and maple syrup. Pour over dry ingredients. Mix well.
Spread the mixture even on a large baking sheet (or two) covered in parchment for easier clean up. Back for about 20 minutes. Remove and add roasted sunflower and or pumpkin seeds.
Increase heat to 340 degrees F. Return to overnfor another 5-7 minutes. When the mix is visibly brown remove and let cool completely.
Store in a container with an air-tight lid in refrigerator or freezer.
Flip: Adjust the the sugar and stevia amount to your taste. This recipe reduces the sugar significantly from most recipes.
Makes about 40 1/8-cup toppings for smoothie bowls or “crisp”
Grain-free reduced sugar granola goes well with:
I started at Trader Joe’s to pick up all of my ingredients.
I preheated the oven and dumped all the ingredients into the biggest bowl I had clean (a wooden salad bowl from Crate and Barrel).
After heating the oil and maple syrup I combined with dry ingredients and spread over two cooke sheets (I could have used one and would definitely use parchment next time – but clean up wasn’t bad)
Then I popped the rest into a lidded container and put in the refrigerator to keep crisp (all your nuts are best in the freezer or refrigerator to prevent mold).
…and this is one of those things that should not be sitting on my counter. It’s that good. Know yourself.
There you have it, for all of you who love granola and you’ve been asking! Let me know how you use it!
What retirement looks like is up to you. At least if you’ve given it the planning health, wellness, and financial security to do it. Retirement for today’s guest involves a lot of swimming, biking, and running. She rode 100 miles last week in preparation for two races this weekend.
My Inspiring Flipping 50 guest today is Shirley King.
She started getting into racing at age 59 after teaching swim lessons to adults out in New York where I recently moved in 2003, Several of my students were signed up for Ironman Lake Placid. I became curious about all the different races around the area. At the time, I was in Masters Swimming but they didn’t have that there.
Since she was a child she loved activity so through the years she would try different things. She always looked for some way to be healthy and of course watch my weight. It was difficult when my kids were young to get much exercise unless I walked in the evening. But as they grew she wanted more.
After 50 she was free more to pursue more activity so started running some and was in Race for the Cure and a few other short races. She moved around to different states and always met women like herself who were active and liked some adventure. It wasn’t until 2005 that she really focused on triathlons. They were so much fun and she liked the challenges.
For so many retirement looks like slowing down, maybe traveling, but for a few it may be the first time they get to explore being an athlete.
“Each year my goal was to get stronger and faster than the year before. As I aged I found I could keep up with beginners and my own age group. Each 5 years or so, I would get a bit slower but still focused on doing my best. I’m still trying hard at what I love and try not to come in last in a race. I’m so happy to see more women trying a sport even though they may not like how they look or how much they weigh. Everyone can do something and feel accomplished doing it.”
So now it’s up to you and what your retirement looks like.
There you have it. Spoiler alert – I just gave you the bottom line. Strength training more than any other type of exercise boostsmotivation more movement. It does it largely due to the emotional benefit of strength training.
Yes, you’ll get stronger. You’ll love the way your clothes fit. You’ll turn heads as you improve posture and walk with a confident, I’ve-got-a-secret-weapon attitude. You’ll have a better libido. You’ll avoid illnesses and injuries. You’ll bounce back faster if they happen. You’ll live independently later.
But you can’t get a single benefit of strength training without the special sauce.
How can I get motivated to exercise?
I just can’t stick with it.
I’ve heard it. You’ve said it. (or maybe you’re among the few and proud who have not!)
It’s well published and widely known if you want to change or control the way you age, you have to keep your muscle. Muscle losses start as early as your 30s. It’s easy to lose up to 50% of your muscle by age 70. But it’s not a given. If you lift weights (properly) you can avoid this condition called sarcopenia.
Muscle loss is usually accompanied by fat gains. Contrary to the myth you need to do lots of cardio to burn fat, you need to lift weights to keep muscle to avoid gaining fat. In doing so you create more metabolically active tissue. You also prevent the effect of age acceleration that occurs with too much cardiovascular activity.
Yes, oxidative stress increases, and cortisol, growth hormone, and testosterone all suffer with too much cardio activity. The result? Muscle loss creates the opportunity for fat. Fill your path to 70 with weight training that consistently follows a few principles of “adequate strength training” and you’ll have avoided muscle losses that will otherwise happen.
If you are a women in midlife, pay attention. What you learned and did in your 20s and 30s is going to make you fatter, slower, and more depressed. Sad and blunt truth but true. You will tank diminishing hormones even further by doing tons of cardio. Do you tend to do MORE of what’s not working? Get hurt frequently? Feel like you’re getting more bloated, more cellulite, more anxious or exhausted? Your hormones are messaging you – shouting, really – that this sh** you’re doing is NOT working!
Before you get to 70 celebrating better strength and body composition than your walking or Pilates-only-please friends, you can enjoy better libido, carry the same load (or more) you did 10 years ago with ease, and have unlimited choices in the way you spend your free time.
The secret to staying motivated to exercise is not so ironically in the exercise. A year-long study published in 2018 showed that participation in a strength training program influenced continued participation among previously sedentary older adults.
Motivation, self-efficacy, and planning were measured during the study at 3 and 9 months. Continued participation was measured at 6 and 12-months intervals after the study. Near 50% of those in the study continued voluntarily lifting weights.
Motivation – the desire or will to do something, the choice or reason someone will do something
Self-efficacy– the belief that your choices control your outcome
Extrinsic motivation– based on outside influence, to avoid punishment, or to gain praise or rewards, to satisfy a task, or complete a program
Intrinsic motivation– based on an individual’s thoughts, beliefs and knowledge, for personal perceived benefits and determination
Strength training-related planning has many facets. You first have to plan the time to exercise. Then you’ve got to have a plan of action for that time in a session. Knowledge of exactly what you’ll do including what exercises, in what order, how many times, at what speed makes a well laid out plan.
Not so ironically, you won’t be as likely to plan exercise unless you have a plan for action in that session and you tie it to results you want.
Have you let trips and events, projects, and holidays, or crisis interfere with regular exercise? Have they been the obstacle that threw you off schedule never to return again?
Without even knowing it’s happening, your subconscious may be weighing the advantages of allocating time to something you have no confidence will improve your current status.
The most important quality of a plan is your ability of tying it to the outcome that you want. You’re not likely to go into action if you don’t have confidence that what you’re doing will help you.
A good plan connects what to do with how it will help you get from where you are now to where you want to go.
If you don’t understand the connection between what you’re doing and the outcome you want, ask!
A supervised program with incentives, encouragement, and structure can provide the motivation to get you started. A program offers extrinsic motivation that might come from the investment of funds. It might come from the public announcement that you’re doing this. It might come because you’ll get some kind of reward or incentive (insurance premium lowered or work wellness program t-shirt).
Strength training doesn’t only decrease the rate at which muscle mass and strength are lost.You can increase muscle mass after 50. Studies even show you can gain muscle in your 10thdecade.
Strength training helps avoid cognitive decline. It’s been shown to have a positive effect on preventing Alzheimer’s and dementia. It helps improve mood. It helps decrease symptoms of depression and anxiety. In fact, exercise interventions may work more effectively than medications and cognitive therapies, without negative side effects.
At the start of this post, I basically wrote when you feel stronger you do more. When you’ve exercised consistently for a period of time doing the right thing, you gain not only strength but confidence and self-efficacy.
That opens the world to you.
The best way to take a step toward regular strength training? If you’re serious about longevity and loving your energy, body, and life with the help of strength training, you need a plan.
Spend 8 weeks with me (Starts Aug 1, 2019)and work on your motivation to move. If you’ve not been strength training regularly, this twice per week program is the start you need. If you’re a woman in perimenopause, menopause, or post menopause it was designed for you! It’s based on research and successful protocols with women in perimenopause and beyond subjects.
It’s not your daughter’s or your mom’s workout.
Doors are open RIGHT NOW and if you miss the early bird special you’ll still be able to get in for a great rate… but who doesn’t love to save?
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If you suffer from chronic fatigue, thyroid issues, and specifically Hashimoto’s then this is your episode. My guest is an expert, she’s helped herself and as a chiropractor and strength expert she supports may women looking to beat fatigue with exercise.
Yet, your exercise could actually be causing or contributing to your problem. To beat fatigue not buy more of it, Dr. Emily Kiberd shares the what and why of an exercise solution. Much of what she shares comes from her program Thyroid Strong.
Dr. Kiberd is Founder of Urban Wellness Clinic in Manahttan, New York and Creator of Thyroid Strong and Dr Emily Kiberd has seen thousands of women over the last 12 years in practice. She helps women with Hashimoto’s beat fatigue with simple sustainable exercises to help heal their joints and thyroid. With her program Thyroid Strong, women get back to what they love, FASTER.
For Dr. Kiberd’s free gift,
“3 things NOT TO DO in your workout if you have Hashimoto’s and WHAT TO DO instead!”
Please leave a rating in iTunes! It really helps! Here’s How:
Did you miss it? LAST CHANCE to enroll before membership access closes until January (and rates increase) The Flipping 50 Membership is your virtual gym just waiting. (Ideal candidates have completed a Flipping 50 Premium Program or private coaching).
We’re launching Cafe 2.0 … at 1.0 rates.. and it’s all over today so don’t miss it!
But seriously, we are making a hot mess of the science behind these workouts. We’re also forgetting “warm up” does not mean start with a high impact move. That, girlfriend, has been a problem for decades, at least the 3.5 decades I’ve been in fitness.
Even “experts” we’re supposed to trust who’ve gained celebrity as authority figures in health don’t get it right. Dr. Oz frequently brings his trainer on the show. I’ve pulled a video from a show segment featuring 7-minute workouts to share with you.
While, yes, High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) has science behind it, it has to be used intelligently. It’s not simply “moving” for a short period of time that makes it HIIT. On the video there isn’t much breathlessness occurring for the exercisers. It is a 7-minute workout. It met that criteria.
This was an example of circuit training. Using the term interval training is OK, too. But it was not a “high intensityinterval training” example.
That is entirely appropriate for beginners to advanced exercisers who want a time efficient workout.
The lower intensity means the exercise won’t have as powerful influence on metabolism and fat burning after exercise (compared to true High Intensity exercise). Likewise, because there isn’t any need, there is no real recovery between exercises. And that’s OK.
A sequence of exercises alternating upper and lower body exercises in quick succession does have science behind it. It is not, however, truly HIIT. [It’s called peripheral heart action, for the record.]
So promising HIIT-related results from something other than HIIT exercise, is “false advertising.” Granted this is a free video available to anyone at any time. However, why as an expert would you want to mislead? Unless you didn’t know better you wouldn’t have.
That’s not what really disappoints me in this episode. Even more important to me is the potential for injury and the erroneous exercises.
=>When did jumping become a warm up? Starting with a high impact exercise fails to prepare the joints, ligaments, and muscles for the increased load. It’s like getting into a car with a 14-year old permit-user who floors it to go faster or crushes the brake. Your body feels that stress in a big way. It’s going from 0 to 100% in a single move.
=>“Chest press” has to happen with resistance to gravity or resistance of bands or pulleys (But erroneously it’s demonstrated in a standing position pressing out) if it’s intended for chest (Now, this exercise can be used for core or for a shoulder exercise for the appropriate person). As it was demonstrated it has no effect on major muscles that influence metabolism.
Here’s my version:
Warm up for 3-5 minutes first! March in place (or march in place while you’re watching the instruction portion)
You’ll start the workout at 2:37. Complete the 11 exercises each for 40-50 seconds once you’ve gone through this once or repeat this short sequence as is a second time. Finish every session with stretching.
This too is an alternating upper and lower body exercise with minimal breaks. It’s a different way to “interval” consistent of a circuit of intervals. It’s an excellent “quickie” for travel days or crazy days. It’s short enough to repeat twice. There won’t be muscle “fatigue” as much as there will be muscle stimulation.
This is what I call a consistency keeper and energy booster. When your weights can’t happen, when you can’t get in a 20 minute interval set, this once or twice through is an example of what you “can do.” In reality though most workouts “cheat” labeling 7-minute workouts since you’ve got to do a warm up! and cool down!
It’s reader and viewer beware. Ask questions. Challenge the information. Be a critical thinker. Make sure that you’re filtering for YOU. Ask if that segment was designed for you.
Even with a medical professional, a certified trainer, and a stable of producers who likely fact-check this episode segment had gaps in the utility for you, or any user.
If it intended to show how easy it is to set up a circuit you can do in minutes at home this segment did that. It could have done so with more appropriate warm up and exercises accurately targeting desired outcome.
I advise you keep it simple and custom.
Choose the goal. Avoid any injury. Choose the exercises.
7-Minute Workouts FLIP: 10 minutes, not 4, 6, or even 7, minutes of high intensity interval training was recently shown MOST effective for positively influencing hormones. It’s clear that low volume high intensity interval training is effective, provided it reach a threshold of at least 10 minutes duration for postmenopausal women.
Looking for workouts, recipes, coaching and community that are already filtered for you based on research about you [women in perimenopause, menopause, and beyond] so you know they’re proven to work? The Cafe is open for enrollment twice a year.
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P.S. I think Dr. Oz brings important topics to the public’s attention! This is not a slam on him or the show. I do think he could have done better here. With a broad viewership there’s a responsibility to say, who’s this for and why. Under that though, incorrect exercises without specifically targeting the said goal is irresponsible.
What’s the science behind upper arm toning exercises? How do you get tone or get it back after 50? It’s all in this episode.
Say goodbye to bat wings, bingo arms and the second wave good bye! I’m sharing 10 upper arm exercises that you can do at home. Inevitably, one of more of these may not work for you for one reason or another. You’ll still have plenty of options for creating a workout that won’t bore you and will keep those muscles guessing.
Get your cheatsheet and you can always have these exercises at the ready!
[Watch the video any time for quick how-to set up and perform each]
You can get the cheat sheet too for details on the exercises and what else you need to truly get toned upper arms. Just enter your name and best email. Check your spam or trash if you don’t see an email from flippingfifty.com within a few minutes of signing up below.
Q: I’ve lost 40, 50 or 100 pounds and I have loose skin. How can I tone that?
Q: Can I do upper arm exercises on alternate days I do other weights?
Q: I have upper arm cellulite even though I have tone. Are there upper arm exercises that help that?
It is somewhat genetic
It is tied to decreasing estrogen that leads to decreased circulation.
The solution to increased circulation is move them!
Arm-centric cardio exercise (you know I love boxing, and swimming, even non-cardio yoga- provided you’re doing down dog and transitioning using your upper body) will help.
Don’t forget strength training. It should be on the top of your list. In addition to decreasing estrogen, you’ve got decreasing testosterone, causing muscle to evacuate the premises. So you need to stimulate that muscle at least twice a week in a way that fatigues it so you’ll regain some lean muscle and help boot flabby fat from running the show.
Combine upper body focused cardio with strength training options I mention and you’ll have the best exercise approach.
For the details on how to get started with the right weight, sets, and reps grab the cheat sheet at flippingfifty.com/10armex because in it I tell you how to choose for where you are right now, and then give you a page to create and record your own workout plan. Seriously, start it right now and you’ll have arms of envy in 6-8 weeks.
In the cheat sheet I also share the importance of nutrition and a few habits that will help. The biggest thing though is remembering:
You do have to focus on metabolism boosting exercises… that is those that cause you to reach muscular fatigue. Not just overall body fatigue we know of as tired and losing form.
You do want and need functional types of exercises but if you’re not also really taxing muscle to change muscle you’re doing less for metabolism than you could be – and that metabolic boost will help your arm tone and definition.
Healthy at-home exercise is a must-have for anyone today. Even if you belong and love your gym, having an option for those days when you can’t make it is paramount for consistency. There will be those days you’re stuck with too little time to commute there and back, or you’re caregiving, or waiting for “cable guy,” or stranded in a blizzard.
This post is quite unique. I’m introducing the Flipping 50 Membership 2.0. The “Café” as we call it, the place to stop in and fill your cup with a community of women on the same journey is 3 and a half. It’s the first and only membership designed for you in perimenopause, menopause, and beyond. It’s a virtual gym and your source for virtual coaching, education, exercise nutrition, and more.
The Café is perfect if you’re looking for “what’s next” after a Flipping 50 program and want continued support, motivation, and more workout challenges you can choose anytime, anywhere… with like-minded women who want the hormone-balancing fitness difference.
Enrollment is open right now… and closing soon. This is new. We’ve decided to bring in a group of new members only limited times of year to really take you on a journey together.
Just added bonus…Complimentary Private Session with Debra to kick off your membership ($300 value)
It is designed with you in mind. It is based on research featuring women in perimenopause, menopause, and post menopause. It’s about getting stronger, inside and outside. I work with you on mindset and shifting what you were taught and learned decades ago about diets and exercise that simply, does not work. Why?
First, because your hormones now need something very different than they once did (and psst…. It’s less not more). Second, science has advanced tremendously in 35 years I’ve been involved in the fitness industry. Yet, you’ve been busy right? And there’s an “infobesity” of content coming at you. It’s hard to filter was is BS and what is really in your best interest.
Look, I get it.
That’s why I want you to stick with me for a year. This isn’t a quick fix. Not if it took 50 years of habits to get you here. But you will feel and see results quickly AND continue to see them as you stick with me. You want and need to know not just what but why. That keeps you motivated. I teach you how to connect the dots between the actions and plans I lay out and the results and benefits you get. That helps eliminate “motivation” and “willpower” and enhances commitment.
I don’t believe any of us lack discipline. I don’t believe that’s why you’re not getting results, or right where you want to be. I believe there’s a combination of missing science, misunderstanding what your body is telling you, and a need to know exactly what to do. So, you need a trusted source.
If you are willing to make changes – and hey, we’re all busy. That one just doesn’t work. You’re not too busy for disease. You can’t be too busy for exercise and lifestyle habits that make it work. We all have a story. But just because you’re crazy making, don’t expect me to get in there with you. If you can’t exercise for a time, you dial in that nutrition, sleep, and daily habits. If you can exercise for a shorter than you want to time? Then we just need to nail what is that most effective use of those 10 minutes. I look for answers, not problems. Still with me?
Then here are the details.[or if you’re already thinking, “yes,” you had me at hormone balancing fitness – click here!]
So now is the time! You get Flipping 50 Membership 2.0 with over $800 of programs, you’ll save up to $200 off protein products, and get the ultimate… looking good and feeling great. This program for instance, STRONGER 3 is only available inside the Cafe!
We close doors Tuesday July 16, 11:59pm then close the doors for months.
Open Enrollment is limited going forward to two times a year. Enrollment is open in July and January of each year. So when enrollment closes, only students who’ve recently finished a Premium Program have a one-time opportunity to join until the next enrollment period.
Q: Can I join if I haven’t done a program or coaching with Debra yet?
A: Yes, during this enrollment period we welcome you. I will suggest you turn right around and join a Premium Program asap, however (perhaps with your new member’s discount on regularly priced programs!).
Q: What’s the refund policy?
A: See below for additional details. Once you’re in the Café and have access to all of our intellectual property we don’t refund. You can at any time cancel the renewal for your annual subscription by sending an email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Q: Do you do a payment plan?
A: There currently is not. Please reach out to email@example.com share your situation.
Q: I’m a vegan/vegetarian does this work for me?
A: Yes! The only area where you will find less content applicable to you is in the recipes section. Many of them will work for you. However, main dishes are skewed to our animal protein members but can be tweaked for the plant-based lifestyle. If you’ve gone through a Premium Program you’ll have the best insight into this being a fit for you.
Need to see it? Watch the behind the scenes video here I created for our members to see what’s coming with the 2.0 upgrade!